Last Wednesay Jamie and I performed the Rap Guide to Evolution for a group of 120 students and teachers at Union County High School in East Tennessee, and I’m proud but also sorry to say there has been some backlash since. I’m proud because my intention with the show has always been to bring the most controversial aspects of Darwin’s theory to the forefront and give those debates further exposure and I’ve certainly done that. But I’m sorry because the offense I caused wasn’t entirely intentional.

I’ll cover the backlash first, and then the show. The first was a Twitter exchange I had with a student that went like this. Him: “If we aren’t allowed to pray in schools how can we invite atheists to come and speak” Me: “Because critical thinking is educational” Him: “nothing educational about cursing and flipping off high school students” Me: “unless it’s in a theatrical context, to make the point that cultural evolution is driven by imitation of words and gestures” Me again: “but I think you’re right, the point didn’t come across, just the offence. Hence, performance, feedback, revision” End transmission.

The next round came the day after the performance, when NIMBioS received several complaint emails from both the principal and the biology teacher. I wasn’t allowed to read the emails because of confidentiality clauses, but the gist of them came to me pretty clearly watercooler-gossip-style, since the incident was the talk of the institute (briefly). On a semi-related note, one of the researchers here is developing a mathematical model for predicting the spread and veracity of rumors. This one ought to be a candidate.

Obviously I can’t verify the exact wording, but the phrases I heard tossed around were “utterly disgraceful” “inappropriate” “obscene gestures” “insulting” “too much cursing” and “Christianity bashing”. The general message was that the content was not school-appropriate and it focussed too much on the religion and too little on the science, and I’m told they held a special assembly so the principle could address grievances and questions about the show. The director of NIMBioS had to issue an apology to the school (first time!) and the show I had scheduled at a different school the next day was abruptly cancelled. I guess the High School Principals in the area stay in touch.

* Correction: I recently learned that the second high school actually cancelled before the performance at Union County, citing concerns about the potential offence I would cause to believers in intelligent design after watching some of my YouTube videos.

Banned in the USA like 2 Live Crew! Not really; apparently just banned from Knoxville-area High Schools. Speaking of 2 Live Crew, I was honestly surprised by the cursing and obscene gestures complaint. We started the show with the song “Natural Selection“, with its less-than-conciliatory “Creationism is dead wrong!” refrain, actually a hip-hop paraphrase of Darwin: “The view… that each species has been independently created, is erroneous.” Then we moved on to “Artificial Selection / Black-eyed Peas“, but it was half way through “I’m A African” that I was urgently signaled to stop. I told Jamie to cut the beat, thinking “that’s it, they’re pulling the plug” but instead I was handed a note that read “NO MORE CURSING!”

I was truly bewildered for a moment, because the off-Broadway version of the show is rich with (non-gratuitous) foul language, f-bombs galore, and I had cleaned it right up for the school show. Then it hit me, so I said to the kids: “I’ve been asked to stop swearing, and I assume they are referring to my use of the expressions ‘damn right’ and ‘hell yeah’ in the chorus of “I’m A African”, or possibly my use of the expression ‘pissed-off’ in the previous song. I’d like to apologize for my cultural ignorance, since these are simply not considered swear words in Canada, where I’m from. I was allowed to say them in school as a student and I’ve said them dozens of times in schools while performing this show in Canada and the UK and even other areas of America, but it’s my first time here, so I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone. Okay, on with the show… I’m a African!” I heard later that the teachers were furious at me for repeating the offensive words again. It just seemed like a teachable moment.

I was told later that the religious offence was caused not only by my choice of words but also by my choice of images in the keynote presentation. I showed the new video for “Darwin’s Acid” while performing the song, and also projected the classic jesus-with-a-dinosaur portrait face-to-face with a portrait of Darwin during the family dinner creationism/evolution debate in “Creationist Cousins“, as we do in the off-Broadway show. This was another moment of cultural insensitivity on my part, since I literally added those slides in the car that very morning, thinking it would increase the entertainment value of the scene. As per my tweet, in retrospect I think the theatrical context, ie a dramatization of actual debates with family members, was overwhelmed by the image projected six-feet-tall on stage behind me.

As for the “obscene gestures”, that’s a piece from the song “Artificial Selection / Black-eyed Peas” where I perform the show’s only (intentional) Eminem impression. The lyrics go:

Survival on stage is a non-random process
‘Cause those who get massive responses
Tend to influence those who aspire
To get massive responses
So if you say I sound like an Eminem rip-off
Then I’ll probably get pissed-off
And start flipping you off
And grabbing my crotch
And acting obnoxious
Screaming [in a nasal old-school Eminem voice]
“Naw dawg, that’s proposterous!”

Here’s the same bit in a recent Wired Magazine feature:

I complete the impression by momentarily grabbing my crotch and giving the crowd the finger in the style of Em’s “My Name Is” video (among others), part satire, part tribute, part serious point about how memes spread via mimicry. In this school, however, giving students the finger and crotch-grabbing were not welcome, and at least one student was more offended than educated. Then, in an uncanny coincidence, I accidentally slammed the offending finger in a minivan door the following day and my fingernail turned black. My crotch, at the time of this writing, is fine.

At the end of the show we had a productive and entertaining question period which included such gems as “What if the world blows up and Jesus comes back and there’s no more evolution?” and “Wait, are you saying we should have sex, or we shouldn’t have sex?” and afterwards the students who were interviewed by NIMBioS staff said the show was interesting, entertaining, made them think about the science, etc. Some of them said they disagreed with me and believed the religion version and not the evolution version, but none of them seemed too put-off by the experience. NIMBioS is working on a video with those student interviews, but in the meantime if you’re curious about my very judicious answers to those priceless questions, you can watch it unfold here:

Then, two days after this performance in which I confess I did blaspheme and mock religion mercilessly, I was stricken by a plague, tonsillitis actually, and spent three days in bed with a 104 degree fever and horrible sore throat, shivering and contemplating the origins of both the religious and the rational interpretations of chance events, especially ones that look uncannily like some kind of comeuppance.

Anyway, I’m fine now thanks to science-based medicine, penicillin having kicked the bacteria’s ciliated ass, and a few days ago Jamie and I performed the big (uncensored) on-campus show at the University of Tennessee, which got a unanimous standing ovation. Redemption.

So is there any revision called for? In the future I’ll consult more closely with teachers to make sure expressions like “damn” and “hell” aren’t deal breakers. They spice up the show but are certainly not essential to the experience, and maybe I could have reached more students by toning it down (although I’m skeptical, more likely the toned-down version would reach fewer students while placating more teachers).

As for the unequivocal “creationism is dead wrong” message, that most definitely IS crucial to the show and I’m happy to defend it to anyone. Hence, caveat emptor, but this is definitely not my last high school appearance.

That’s the idea that most enrages Darwin’s detractors
The idea that we came from ape-like ancestors
Some people still question this, and say: “If we came from
Monkeys, then how come there’s monkeys still in existence?”
Allow me to illustrate a similar instance
I’m descended from Dutch Calvinist immigrants
Who came to Canada in the 1950s
And I still have second cousins who live in the Netherlands
But they’re not my ancestors; they’re my relatives
Since we have common genetic elements
Inherited from our great grandparents
That’s just three generations back, but here’s the relevance
Three thousand generations back, human beings all have
Common ancestors, so really we’re all relatives
Which also means all relationships are relatively incestuous
Further back we have common ancestors with chimps
And gorillas and elephants and plants, and billions
Of years back our ancestors are all single-cellular
But what I find incredible isn’t this principle
Of “unity of common descent”, that’s just elegant
What’s incredible to me is that some of my living relatives
Still believe the earth was created about seventy-odd
Centuries ago – around the time of the Egyptians
By a benevolent God and that this same God
Is currently manipulating the elements
And that evolutionism is devilish
Did I mention that I was descended from Calvinist fundamentalists?
Well, I still have cousins as dedicated representatives
Approximately twenty percent of them
And at the dinner table we debate statistics
And those debates get kind of interesting
They go like this…

Creationist cousins, they’re my relations, I love ‘em
But when they talk about Jesus and Revelations and Judges
I’ve gotta take it up with them
‘Cause there’s a better explanation for the place that we come from, okay?
Creationist cousins, they’re my relations, I love ‘em
But at the dinner table we get on some crazy discussions
I’m always questioning their basic assumptions
And saying, “yes I believe we came from monkeys, okay?”

I say, “Creationism is unscientific
Ninety-nine percent of practicing scientists accept evolution
As the best explanation we have for living systems
Why? Because there’s overwhelming empirical evidence!”
And they say, “Baba, science isn’t run by consensus
That one percent is quite significant
Those are the creationist scientists who have found signs
Of intelligent design, but whenever they try and
Publish it in the mainstream literature, they get black-listed
Besides, your presuppositions are materialistic
Maybe all that evidence scientists say they’ve collected
Just empirically proves that God wants our faith to be tested!”
So then I say, “But that means your benevolent God
Is perpetrating a massive intellectual fraud!
So either evolution is the victim of a frame job
Which explains all of its predictive successes
Or we have to separate God from the scientific method”
And that’s when my sister steps in
To defend a different kind of creationism – Cultural creationism,
Also known as “social constructivism” or “post-modernism”
She says: “Baba, the Western scientific method
Is just as subjective as every other cultural tradition
Except it’s just better at pretending to be objective
Because, like, all behaviour is socially constructed
And mostly, it just promotes injustice
And, like, gender roles have nothing to do with genitals
They’re just a way for men to control women’s goals
And try to turn us all into Playboy centerfolds
Haven’t you heard about that tribe in the Amazon
Where the woman does the man’s jobs and hunts and plants the crops
And brings home the food for the man to wash?
Um, I can’t remember exactly what that clan is called
But I know it’s a published fact
Because I read about it in my Women’s Studies class
And it proves that gender is a socially constructed act
So how does sociobiology explain that?”
And all I can do is come back with more statistics
About the high percentage of indigenous
Societies where polygamy is prolific
And about human sexual dimorphism
And the different reproductive investments between men and women
Which of course then gets my religious cousins offended
Because it doesn’t credit Genesis with our humble beginnings
And, let’s just say, the discussions are endless
But it isn’t about who is impartial; no one’s impartial
It’s about how much evidence you can marshal
And how you deliver the parcel
And when my relatives argue, I have to have faith
That we can reach the genuine article in a rational way
That’s a different kind of faith than my cousins have
In divine creation, but hey, to all of my relatives
And fellow primates, I say
If it makes you feel better, go head and pray
In fact, here’s how I pray in a secular way
I say, “I have creationist relatives and relative apes
And I wish them all happiness, whatever their faith
And I wish myself patience, since I relish debates
Let us all be respectful and still tell it straight”

Creationist cousins, they’re my relations, I love ‘em
But when they talk about Jesus and Revelations and Judges
I’ve gotta take it up with them
‘Cause there’s a better explanation for the place that we come from, okay?
Creationist cousins, they’re my relations, I love ‘em
But at the dinner table we get on some crazy discussions
I’m always questioning their basic assumptions
And saying, “yes I believe we came from monkeys, okay?”

I loved this and I would really like to use a version of it in my high school biology class; however, I can float the whole thing until the mention of god is a jerk off or jerking off? I don’t suppose you have a slightly modified version that will only have half the town after me instead of the entire community burning a cross on my front lawn? Just curious from a mildly religious conservative community of nutty. . .

Catherine,

Thanks for your comment on the Natural Selection video. The problematic line you mentioned is: “If there is a personal god, then he’s been jerkin’ off,” and I’m aware that the line will not be appropriate for some classroom settings, but I still stand behind it, and I’m sorry I don’t have a “radio friendly” version! Teachers will have to use their own discretion as to which videos are appropriate for which age groups and demographics, and at the very least my intention was to provoke debate.

If you look on the video page and scroll down to the annotated lyrics, you’ll see I’ve made a note on that lyric: “A somewhat crude way of expressing the fact that there is no reliable evidence for the existence of a personal God, hence ‘he’ can hardly be said to ‘do’ anything of interest.” In this context “jerkin’ off” is just used as a slang term for “wasting time” or “being inactive” as in “stop jerkin’ off and get some work done”. It just happens to be a nice rhyme for “personal god” so I decided to use it.

Inappropriate or not, this line is meant to delve into the debate as to whether Darwin’s theory, which in principle explains the origins and details of every living thing, both in terms of behaviour and anatomy, leaves anything interesting for god to “do”. Personally I think not, but everyone gets to make their own decision based on their understanding of Darwin’s theory.

By way of further discussion, here’s a lecture from a philosopher (Eliot Sober) who believes Darwin’s theory is not, in principle, a logical refutation of the existence of god, personal or otherwise. And here’s another lecture, this time from a philosopher (Dan Dennett) who believes Darwin’s theory doesn’t leave anything interesting for god to do, hence belief in god becomes pointless and illogical once you understand the theory. Whichever way each of your students leans, I hope they will all agree it’s an interesting debate to have.

I’m posting this response as a blog since I’m sure you won’t be the first or the last teacher to raise this concern. If you deem the Natural Selection video inappropriate (as is your prerogative) I recommend the videos for Worst Comes to Worst or DNA or I’m A African as more universally age-appropraite.

All the best,

Baba

“There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one, and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning, endless forms most beautiful, and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved.”
Charles Darwin, Origin of Species

Are picturesque women/men always giving you glances?

Any artistic practice, with musicians or actors
Or visual craftsman; just pick an example
And imagine the competitive advantages
That would come with recognition if you have the gift
Now picture the artist with unlimited cash, and with
Picturesque women always givin’ him glances
Or, if you’re picturing a woman, then picture the advances
Of the handsome prince whose attention she catches
Now, picture them livin’ happily ever after
And havin’ kids faster than Angie and Brad Pitt
All because they have this gift with craftsmanship
Now take it from the master of the adjectives
I think it’s adaptive; it has to be instinct
In synch with the rhythm, just listen and sink
Deep into the subconscious of the obnoxious
Sexual selection , I’m just tickin’ the boxes

Can words hypnotize? How important do you think language is relative to physical looks in securing mates?

And if you’re feelin’ it then mission accomplished

Baba, Baba, Baba, can’t you see
Sometimes your words just hypnotize me
And I just love your turns of phrase
So even though you’re still broke I love you anyway

Yeah, I could fill you with real scientific
Lyrics, but I confess that my mind is twisted
‘Cause I’ve been listenin’ to Kanye, Nas and Jay
While reading Richard Dawkins on the opposite page
So now this whole rap thing seems awfully strange
Talkin’ ‘bout, “He got game, and he’s not real
And he’s got chains” but wait, that’s a peacock’s tail!
‘Cause you never hear them say they got it cheap on sale
Which means that bling is meant to represent
How much they really spent, and at the end of the day

Male bower bird (right) blinging up his nest to attract the female (left). ©KrysiaB

That’s the definition of a “fitness display”
Like a bowerbird’s nest, which takes hours of work
And makes the females catch a powerful urge
Just like a style of verse or an amazing flow
But it takes dedication and it takes a toll
‘Cause the best displays are unfakeable

Baba, Baba, Baba, can’t you see
Sometimes your words just hypnotize me
And I just love your turns of phrase
So even though you’re still broke, I love you anyway

1. African Cradle, 2. Out of Africa, 3. The First Australians, 4. Early Europeans, 5. Populating Asia, 6. Into the New World

I’m a African, I’m a African
And I know what’s happenin’
I’m a African, I’m a African
Archaeologists know what’s happenin’

You a African? You a African?
Do you know what’s happenin’?
I’m a African, I’m a African
Geneticists know what’s happenin’

No I wasn’t born in Ghana but Africa is my mama

Human family tree. © Copyright Smithsonian Institution. http://humanorigins.si.edu/

‘Cause that’s where my mama got her mitochondria

You can try to fight if you wanna, but it’s not gonna change me
‘Cause it’s plain to see, Africans are my people
And if it’s not plain to see then your eyes deceive you
I’m talkin’ primeval; the DNA in my veins
Tells a story that reasonable people find believable
But it might even blow your transistors;
Africa is the home of our most recent common ancestors
Which means human beings are all brothers and sisters
So check the massive evidence of Homo erectus
And Australopithecus afarensis in the fossil record

And then try to tell me that we’re not all connected
The fossil record has gaps but no contradictions

And it complements the evidence in your chromosomes
So I came to let you know about your ancestral home

How Australopithecus afarensis might have looked

I’m a African, I’m a African
And I know what’s happenin’
I’m a African, I’m a African
Archaeologists know what’s happenin’
You a African? You a African?
Do you know what’s happenin’?
I’m a African, I’m a African
Geneticists know what’s happenin’

Yeah, it’s plain to see, you can’t change me
‘Cause I’ma be a Homo sapien for life
Yeah, it’s plain to see, you can’t change me
‘Cause I’ma be a Homo sapien for life

Homo erectus skull (by Thomas Roche / Wikimedia Commons)

Yeah, the red is for the blood in my arm – it runs in the veins
Of all my cousins from the same African mom
And the black is for the melanin, which I guess I lost
A mutation with benefits that offset the costs
At least in the North, after massive glaciation
My family passed through some adaptive radiations
We started as Africans, and then became Eurasians
And then one final migration made us Canadians
But it’s back to my origin, ‘cause I understand
For every colour of man, Africa is the motherland
So I’m comin’ back, that’s my right of return
I’m only speakin’ the facts, which I invite you to learn
We came from Africa first; Charles Darwin predicted it
‘Cause that’s where modern chimps and gorillas live
So the green is for the envy in the eyes of intelligent design
Advocates and scientific illiterates

I’m a African, I’m a African
And I know what’s happenin’
I’m a African, I’m a African
Archaeologists know what’s happenin’
You a African? You a African?
Do you know what’s happenin’?
I’m a African, I’m a African
Geneticists know what’s happenin’

Yeah, C-A-N-A-D-A
Asia, U-K, U-S-A
R-U-S-S-I-A
No, it ain’t ‘bout where you stay
It’s ‘bout the motherland

C-H-I-N-A
A-U-S-T-R-I-A
Oz, Tazmania, and Ukraine
No, it ain’t ‘bout where you stay
It’s ‘bout the motherland

M-O-N-G-O-L-I-A
Saudi Arabia and Kuwait
Sweden, Denmark, and Norway
No, it ain’t ‘bout where you stay
It’s ‘bout the motherland

C-O-L-O-M-B-I-A
Costa Rica, I-N-D-I-A
First nations in A-L-A-S-K-A
No, it ain’t ‘bout where you stay
It’s ‘bout the motherland

A Galapagos giant tortoise

Worst comes to worst, my people come first
But my tribe lives on every country on earth
I’ll do anything to protect them from hurt
The human race is what I serve

But who are my people? Canadians? Family members?

Who knows? Maybe everybody!

Some people got good friend; I’ve got disparate friends
They live on different ends of earth, but just pretend
We actually get to the end of the time of tribalism
Like Obama said, and dissolve the lines of difference
As man advances in civilization

And small tribes expand into larger bases

The Abolition of the Slave Trade, (The Anti-Slavery Society Convention, 1840), by Benjamin Robert Haydon (died 1846).

And communities, the truest reason tells each individual
That’s it’s not that difficult to extend our instinctual
Sympathies to all the members of one nation
Like, for instance, notice how everybody loves Canadians
Overseas, even if they’re personally unknown
Well so do I! But not so much when I come home
But I know there’s nothing to stop me extending this basic

Sympathy to the people of all nations and all races
By the way, those are Charles Darwin’s statements
Paraphrased, a man ahead of his time
Extending his imagination and formidable mind
Into a future where all human sympathies combine

Worst comes to worst, my people come first
But my tribe lives on every country on earth
I’ll do anything to protect them from hurt
The human race is what I serve

In the South Pacific Islands, there’s certain animals that don’t
Experience fear, like Galapagos iguanas

A newborn sea lion in the Galapagos Islands

They never had predators, so their adaptive responses
Evolved to be as calm as a pack of Dalai Llamas
So then, why do we have to live with violence
When this whole planet could be like a pacifistic island?
Do we need fear to escape invading aliens?

The only predators here are called Homeo sapiens
And yeah, we can be dangerous but we can also be
Motivated by affection and reciprocity
Or by that Old Testament animosity: an eye for an eye
But that philosophy’s got the whole world blind
Let’s not pretend it’s gonna be a cake-walk to end it
If violence is an instinct, it’s not entirely senseless
But the logic of human destiny is reciprocal altruism

Yes we can change our perspectives
And as soon as this is widely comprehended
Then I predict we’ll be as calm as Galapagos finches

Worst comes to worst, my people come first
But my tribe lives on every country on earth
I’ll do anything to protect them from hurt
The human race is what I serve

DNA is a double helix made up of 4 building blocks -bases- called adenine (A), thymine (T), cytosine (C) and guanine (G). The human body contains almost 3 billion bases of DNA.

We are made of DNA
We are made of DNA
Deoxyribonucleic
Acid is what we are made of
We are made of DNA
We are made of DNA
Strands of double helix
Are where all these bodies came from

In the story of life on this crazy planet
The protagonist isn’t man, no
It’s a microscopic information package
Called deoxyribonucleic acid
The DNA strand has the same basic plan
In every living thing, every plant
Every animal, every little flea
Has the same proteins with a certain percentage
Of the same genes arranged identically
It’s no coincidence; it means every living thing
Has a shared ancestor with every living thing
This is true for Jews and Christians and Sufi mystics
And Buddhists and every religion and superstition
If you can listen to this it means you’re passing through
This existence on a wave of DNA
And you’re just one of its newest inventions

Although genes get a lot of attention, its the proteins that perform most life functions and make up the majority of cellular structures. Proteins are large, complex molecules made up of smaller subunits called amino acids. Chemical properties that distinguish the 20 different amino acids cause the protein chains to fold up into specific three-dimensional structures that define their particular functions in the cell. Courtesy of: U.S. Department of Energy Office of Science

We are made of DNA
We are made of DNA
Deoxyribonucleic
Acid is what we are made of
We are made of DNA
We are made of DNA
Strands of double helix
Are where all these bodies came from

Now if you want me to tell you how a simple molecule
Could build bodies so well with such an obvious wealth
Of variation and adaptation, well
In DNA’s case it’s ‘cause it copies itself
And makes little mistakes which would not really help
Except that one in every million is a slight improvement
And leaves more copies, whether mice or humans
And that’s what keeps this whole life thing movin’
Changing and growing and competing for mates
‘Cause that’s the only way to keep your DNA
Up in the race, which explains a lot
Like how animals and plants all behave in the wild
So next time you shake hands or break dance
Or make plans, don’t forget the straight facts
The information that makes your brains and hands
Comes from one place: DNA strands

We are made of DNA
We are made of DNA
Deoxyribonucleic
Acid is what we are made of
We are made of DNA
We are made of DNA
Strands of double helix
Are where all these bodies came from

Yeah, this goes out to Watson and Crick
Who discovered the twist
And to the Human Genome Project
And to those who speed up the process
I mean like Digital PCR
Record a gene faster than a VCR
This is the future so you better get used to it
This is what we are

Charles Darwin, Origin of Species

Richard Dawkin's 1986 bestseller

So what-ch-you know about Natural Selection? Go ahead
And ask a question and see where the answer gets you
Try bein’ passive aggressive or try smashin’ heads in
And see which tactic brings your plans to fruition
And if you have an explanation in mind, then you’re
Wastin’ your time, ‘cause the best watchmaker is blind
It takes a certain base kind of
To explain away nature with “intelligent

But the truth shall set you free
From those useless superstitious, beliefs
In a , and that Edenic myth
‘Cause their family tree is showin’ some genetic drift
Take it from this bald-headed non-celibate monk
With the lyrical equivalent of an elephant’s trunk
It’s time to elevate your mind-state
And celebrate your kinship with the primates
The weak and the strong, who got it goin’ on?
We lived in the dark for so long
The weak and the strong, Darwin got it goin’ on
Creationism is dead wrong

Image courtesy of Kapungo via Flickr (Creative Commons)

“The view which most naturalists entertain…namely that each species has been independently created, is erroneous.”
Charles Darwin, Origin of Species

Okay, it’s time to reveal my identity
I’m the manifestation of tens of millions
Of centuries of sexual selection, best believe
I’m the best of the best of the best of the best

Of generations of competitive pressure genetically
But don’t get upset, ‘cause we’ve got the same pedigree
You and I will find a common ancestor eventually
If we rewind geological time regressively
And I could say the same for this hibiscus tree
And this lizard and this flea and this sesame seed
And if you still disbelieve in what your senses perceive
Then I could even use this rhyme as a remedy
‘Cause there’s so much variation in the styles in this industry
And differential survival when the people listening
Decide what they’re into and what really isn’t interesting

Hibiscus flower. Courtesy of Muhammad Mahdi Karim via Wikimedia Commons

You could thrive like Timberlake on a Timberland beat
Or go extinct like Vanilla Ice and N’Sync
It’s survival of the fittest, but
It changes from place to place and from winter to spring
But the real question in this social-scientific simile
Is heredity, whether we inherit our techniques
From our predecessors, or invent them independently
But then we’re talkin’ memes and that’s a different thing
Richard Dawkins can I get a proper definition please?

The weak and the strong, who got it goin’ on?
We lived in the dark for so long
The weak and the strong, Darwin got it goin’ on
Creationism is dead wrong
The weak and the strong, who got it goin’ on?
Whoever leaves the most spawn
The weak and the strong, Darwin got it goin’ on
Creationism is erroneous

I hear some people complain, like “I don’t wanna be an ape!
I never came from monkey DNA!
I believe God made me in a day – Jesus saves!”
Yeah, he’s great, but stop bein’ afraid
To use the reason “he” gave you to let science solve
Some giant problems and find some final results

A Blotched Blue-Tongued Skink, Tiliqua nigrolutea, basking on open sandy ground. Image courtesy of Benjamint444 via Wikimedia Commons

Wondering at the infinite depth of divine thought
And realizing that scripture can never define God
‘Cause if there is a personal God, then he’s been jerkin’ off
So why would he bother designing an albatross
Especially when natural selection does such an excellent job
Just by balancing benefits and costs?
I say banish God into the gaps
If he can’t help us understand the simplest facts
I want a relaxed God of infinite naps
We’ll be all right without him, just give us a chance

The weak and the strong, who got it goin’ on
We lived in the dark for so long
The weak and the strong, Darwin got it goin’ on
Creationism is dead wrong

Yeah, I’m sendin’ this one out to my evolutionary psychology people
Yeah, David Buss, Cosmides and Tooby, yeah Geoffrey Miller
Yeah, we livin’ this ‘til the day that we die
Survival of the fit, only the strong survive

There’s a war goin’ on outside no man is safe from
You can run but you can’t hide forever
If you come to my block, you’ll see some territoriality
A place where kill or be killed is the mentality
But get it straight, it’s just a necessary strategy
You gotta play the hand you’re dealt; you can’t magically
Escape from the habitat that you was born in

Three homicides in my neighbourhood this mornin’
Cops came and kicked the crooked door in, with no warnin’
And started roughin’ up my young cousin
She’s only seventeen and got a bun in the oven
Plus a concussion, but she ain’t done nothin’
So keep your mouth shut and don’t jump to judgment
On the lives we’re livin’ – just close your eyes and listen
While I break down some homicide statistics
So if you’re thinkin’ the criminal mind is just vacant
You’re mistaken, this is calculated risk takin’
We’re livin’ in a situation with a low
Life-expectancy, and a major discrepancy
Between the haves and the have-nots, and you wonder
Why the padlock on every cash box is smashed off
C’mon, you can’t call it “pathological”
Nah, that’s illogical; you can try to understand it
But you can’t stop it though, not unless you address
The root causes, the conscious and unconscious
Decisions to discount future prospects
C’mon, it’s obvious – the beat keeps bouncing
The homicide rate keeps mounting, which leads
To steep discounting, and a lot of violence
But it’s not a virus; it’s a rational response
To high risk environments and short time horizons
With high stakes and highly visible prizes
And you wonder why we’re criminal-minded
Hey, you can’t say we’ll get satisfaction if we’re patient
With self-control and delayed gratification
When the only job that pays is casket-makin’
And death is the ultimate plan cancellation
So check the facts and recent data releasin’
You’ll see a pattern of increasin’ competition
A bunch of young guys all stugglin’ and status seekin’
And causin’ the crimes that make the social fabric weaken
And life expectancy also predicts teen pregnancy
The need to leave a legacy genetically
Will never be completely controlled contraceptively
Yeah, that’s transparent – imagine if your kids
Would never meet their grandparents, unless you followed
The Bristol Palin plan for parenthood
And then they say, “Ooh, these young girls are so damn careless
Getting’ pregnant before marriage; it’s such a tragedy”
Apparently it’s also a reproductive strategy,
Especially when you can see them adjusting actively
When their circumstances change; in both the cases
Of the young ladies with babies and the male risk-takers
You see people adapting to their situations
And it’s the same in different places and with different races
This is not about ethical justifications
It’s evolutionary psych, and it’s just the basics
And still people call this behaviour “maladaptive”
Because of our reaction when violence happens
But if we really want to change the outcome
Then maybe we should just start questioning how it’s adaptive
And the bottom line is that inequity and life
Expectancy are the ultimate causes of crime
And the results of crime; to me that’s true
The two combine together in a feedback loop
But I got some moves to make, so I’ll be back soon
Just don’t ask me what I’m about to do
‘Cause I can’t say, so it’s left to untold fact
Until my death, my ghost will stay alive
Survival of the fit, only the strong survive
That’s right, we livin’ this ‘til the day that we die
Survival of the fit, only the strong survive

(Repeat 4X)

Yeah, sendin’ this out to all my evolutionary psychologists
Daly and Wilson, Steven Pinker, Robert Wright, yeah
David Sloan Wilson, yeah that’s right, gather the evidence
Make it real, make it real. Human mentality represent
Yeah, this is human nature – human nature to the core
I’ma get mine, and you get yours. Don’t question my actions
Unless you’re ready to make a little addition, before I make a subtraction
End you up in traction. That’s right, I love scrappin’
Peace